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There are things people ought to do, at least every once in a while, to keep themselves anchored in reality. Eating a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s is one of them. It’s the perfect way to stay connected to humanity and you might even gain a little insight into why some folks resort to NASCAR for entertainment. Just don’t order any sides ‘cause that $2.99 special will soon turn into an Olive Garden sized ticket if you do, thus mitigating the true benefit of the
au natural Denny’s experience.
I’ve been mulling over an idea lately. A kind of anti-goal to-do list whose objective would be simply this - to keep a person honest. Of course by honest I mean down-to-earth, humble etc. Mind you, this isn’t a list of noble goals and accomplishments meant to garner praise and adulation upon successful completion. No, these would be almost the reverse of that. Ignoble and mean they would serve the purpose of taking from you any real bragging right and casting you in an oblique light that would be anything but flattering. Maybe you can come up with some of your own but here’s a few quick ideas to help you on the path to ignominy and …reality.
1) Walk around with oil paint smeared all over your face.
2) Put a bumper sticker on you car declaring your child’s bad grades.
3) Fire a shotgun in your backyard on occasion.
4) Get kicked out of the local grocery store’s dumpster.
5) Shoot your TV set (in the living room)and post the result on You Tube.
6) Kill your own food once in a while.
7) Mess with a nest of Africanized bees till your face is an unrecognizable swollen mass.
8) Sit through an entire black & white movie (in Spanish if you can handle it…no subtitles)
Does it sound like I’m speaking from experience? Well, I won’t cop to any of these but I will say that should any of them be true of you, the healing, therapeutic benefits would be undeniable and you will be the better for it…or not.(It kind of depends how far you take this)